This was a hard piece to write, because guns by definition are manly, except for Berettas, gold-plated TEC9s, .25 caliber pistols or anything made by the French. To simplify things, I have limited it to modern cartridge firearms a man might, can, and should collect and shoot. There are certainly other manly weapons, and you may have a different list. As long as the list contains nothing French, gold-plated, .25 or with pearl grips (which Patton correctly observed are the mark of a New Orleans pimp), it is a good list. LET ME REPEAT THAT: You are encouraged to make your own list. A long as you’re shooting something, it’s all good. Now please read this intro again so you don’t embarrass yourself by arguing a point already made. Ask for help with any big words.
#10: SMLE
The SMLE was the other great weapon of the Modern British Empire (The Brown Bess musket being the first). Several MILLION Short Magazine Lee Enfields in .303 caliber are still spread across the Earth, waiting to be used to evolve the species by killing the weak.
The Smelly, as it is called by those who love it, can also be had in .308 from the Indians at the Ishapore Arsenal. There are still several billion rounds of .303 surplus out there, however, and it is still loaded by modern manufacturers. Karamojo Bell was such a testosterone laden bastard he used to hunt ELEPHANT with one. Forget .470 Nitro Express and .375 Holland & Holland Magnum. This was a warrior par excellence.
The Smelly is still the fastest bolt action out there, and a trained soldier (All Brits have Viking blood in their veins, either from the Norse, or those lesser Danes, but probably both) can fire just about a round a second in volley fire, and easily a round every five seconds aimed. It’s an ugly stick with a barrel on it, and a bayonet lug that mounts either a spike big enough to crucify someone, or a blade the size of a small sword. The front end of a SMLE is the bad end of a SMLE. You want to be on the good end, behind it.
It was used in WWI by Brits, Canadians, Aussies, Kiwis, some Americans and various allies. It slaughtered Turks and Germans. In WWII, it slaughtered more Germans and Italians. Okay, maybe bragging about dead Italians isn’t so great, but it also killed Sicilians. And killing Germans definitely is a mark of manliness, because they also carry strong Viking genes. It was used in Burma, Malaysia and throughout the Pacific against the Imperial Japanese. It has won many wars.
Best of all, with so many still out there, the prices are quite reasonable, and spare parts are plentiful. Of course, the Smelly doesn’t break down much, so you shouldn’t need spare parts, except the safety lever, and why would a real warrior worry about the safety? If you shoot someone, it’s because you intended to and they deserved to die. If you can’t find a Smelly near you, you may also carry a Lee-Enfield #4 Mk 1 and feel just as manly, it being the final offpsring of the line.
#9: Mosin-Nagant M91/30
Speaking of guns without safeties, here’s the Mosin-Nagant from Russia. The Mosin was used by the Russians against the Finns, the Finns against the Russians, the Estonians against the Russians, the Russians against the Russians, and the Russians against the Germans. It does, in fact, have a safety, but it’s quite hard to engage. But this is not a complaint one would ever voice in the Red Army. Your officer would reply, “Safety? Safety? Is gun! Meant to kill! No warrior should know he has safety on gun, because he should be killing enemies of homeland! Safety make loud click to aid enemy in locating warriors! No safety!” while pounding his fist on the table.
And the Mosin can kill enemies of homeland. The muzzle blast will vaporize green growth within a few feet of the bore, and even if you miss, the enemy will be reduced to shouting “WHAT?” to communicate. You’ll need a recoil pad or shooting jacket. Ordinarily, this might be considered unmanly, but this rifle has a short stock for using while wearing several layers of wool for a Russian winter. It is acceptable to wear padding to fire a Mosin.
Of course, there are also M38, M44 and other variations of Mosin-Nagant and all are cool. All, also (except the M38), come with a bayonet. Russian doctrine held that the bayonet was mounted except while traveling in a vehicle, because the Russians understood that an empty rifle could still be a pointy stick—a Viking spear. The Russians loved to spear Turks. So, coincidentally, did the Vikings. This rifle sounds better all the time, doesn’t it? The Finns used the Mosin as a sniper rifle during the Winter War, and their greatest Sniper was Simo Häyhä, who had 500 confirmed kills in 100 days. This is a man the Finns describe as “modest” and “self-effacing.” It’s a good thing the Russians didn’t run into a Finn who was proud and arrogant. They’d have been wiped out.
It fires a 7.62X54R (for “Rimmed”) cartridge, about as powerful as .30-06, which holds the distinction of being in service from 1891 to the present, longer than any other military cartridge. It is still used in Dragunovs, PKMs and other Russian weapons. It’s cheap in quantity. So are the rifles, because they were built for (all variations) over 70 years, by Russia, Finland, Poland, Romania, China, even the US. As I write this, arsenal-new M44s are $55 to $200. At that price, you should have several, so any guests you have during the Collapse can be outfitted as they receive Enlightenment. Then they can pillage, kill, sack and loot with the rest of the men who secure a new Dark Ages to hasten the new renaissance. We have kingdoms to carve, men!
#8: GLOCK
The GLOCK is feared by neoliberals. It’s called “plastic” and “ceramic” and “capable of going through airport metal detectors.” If this were true, it would be the coolest gun on Earth. But these things are total lies, and serve to point out that neoliberals are not men, and have no honor. The GLOCK has a plastic frame molded over a kilogram of metal (84% of the weight is metal), and will in fact, show up on any metal detector. So will the dense plastic.
Yes, the correct spelling is GLOCK. GLOCK insists so. As they are men and wish to loudly announce themselves, this should always be respected, despite any personal allegations against Gaston. A man is known by his work.
But the GLOCK is tough. How tough? To summarize: The GLOCK in question has not been cleaned in ten years, has been buried in dirt, saltwater, gravel, talc, dropped from a plane, dragged behind a car, tossed off a roof, driven over with a truck, and it still works. Gaston Glock didn’t know anything about guns, and started from the ground up, thus not having any preconceived notions and incorporating the best technology available. It is an almost flawless killing machine.
GLOCKs came originally in 9mm, and have also been made in various numbers in 10mm, .40S&W, .380, 9X21mm, .357 Sig and .45 GAP. However, the only acceptable caliber for a man to carry is .45 ACP. 10mm is good but hard to find, .40S&W is a wussified 10mm that the FBI created when it found out its agents weren’t manly enough for 10mm, .357 Sig is excellent but hard to find, .45 GAP is new and untested, .380 is only acceptable as a backup caliber, and no man would be found dead with a 9mm. Actually, a man knows he WOULD be found dead with a 9mm, because a 9mm is a .45 set on stun, and real men do not believe in stun.
GLOCKs are not cheap. They are much in demand by police and military around the world. Fascist European pussies refuse to sell them to Israel, because they secretly like the idea of dead Jews. The Israelis, being practical and almost as manly as Vikings, acquire GLOCKs anyway. If Viking king Harald Hardraada were alive today, his symbol of power would be a GLOCK 21.
#7: Swiss K31 Carbine
“While traveling around Switzerland on Sundays, everywhere one hears gunfire, but a peaceful gunfire: this is the Swiss practicing their favorite sport, their national sport. They are doing their obligatory shooting, or practicing for the regional, Cantonal or federal shooting festivals, as their ancestors did it with the musket, the arquebus or the crossbow. Everywhere, one meets urbanites and country people, rifle to the shoulder, causing foreigners to exclaim: ‘You are having a revolution!”
- General Henri Guisan
Switzerland has not been invaded in a long time, because every man and a lot of the women are issued guns which they keep at home. Imagine a government that not only allows but INSISTS its citizens keep military grade weapons. That’s points right there. Even more, they hold quarterly Schützenfests, at which shooting, carousing and drinking are expected. And it’s entirely possible you will have your ass handed to you by a 13 year old girl shooting an StG90 assault rifle that she carried to the range from school, slung across her back while pedaling her bicycle. Swiss GIRLS are better men than most allegedly-male American liberals.
There is a story, possibly apocryphal but awesome nonetheless, that a ranking German (perhaps the Kaiser) was visiting and watching the Swiss military on their summer maneuvers. He asked the Swiss commander, “How big a force do you command?”
The Swiss general confidently replied, “I can mobilize one million men in twenty-four hours.”
The German asked, “What would happen if I marched five million men in here tomorrow?”
The Swiss replied, “Each of my men will fire five shots and go home.”
Note that Switzerland was not invaded during either World War, and still used an updated version of the same bolt action rifle from 1889 to 1959, and kept it in reserve service until 1980.
The Swiss K31 carbine is…well, the Swiss Watch of rifles. It is precise, sturdy, accurate, powerful and unusual in having a straight pull bolt action. It might as well be semi-auto, if a gas tube had just been added. But the Swiss are traditionalists and not afraid of it.
The K31 packs a kick. It fires a 7.5 mm Swiss round that is expensive, because it only comes from Switzerland and it’s only available in match grade. There is no non-match grade Swiss Ammo. Swiss soldiers don’t miss. This is why they’ve never had to demonstrate the fact. Invaders fear a mountain range full of snipers.
The K31 is available surplus for $275 or so in 2011, in conditions varying from “Arsenal new” to “Beaver chewed.” The beaver chewed version is because the Swiss, when performing their summer drills, tend to use the rifle butts to pound TENT STAKES when they run short of mallets. It is an ugly but durable weapon, from a nation that respects the warrior spirit. As a bonus, when buying one surplus, one may find a card under the buttplate identifying the gentleman who was issued it. This is an awesome historical detail: a warrior’s weapon with the warrior’s mark on it. Some people have even managed to contact the soldier or his family from this information.
#6: AK47
Another communist piece of trash, and I say that with the greatest respect. The Automat Kalashnikov in 7.62X39mm is simple enough for a third world peasant. It’s quite robust. It is muzzle heavy and thus shoots well in full auto, though it is unlikely you can own a full auto one legally. Still, in semi, the weight helps a bit with rapid fire. The AK can be called anything except pretty and accurate, and it lacks a bolt stop to hold the action open when empty. On the other hand, you can bury it in the mud for a week and it will still fire after you urinate in it to sluice the mud out. You can also elect to get a variation of the newer AK74 and AK100, in 5.45X 39mm. Also look at Valmet, Finland, who makes AKs with their own name. These ARE accurate, but pricey.
The AK is one of the two most popular and common military rifles in the world today. It is a must for a warrior’s armory.
#5: Smith & Wesson Model 29
The .44 Magnum, as carried by Dirty Harry, is the quintessential man’s gun. Harry took no crap from anyone. Any cop who clutches a thug in the elevator in front of his attorney and the prosecutor, compares him to dogshit and implies impending death is doing Odin’s work.
Did you know that in “The Eiger Sanction” Clint decided the stunts were too dangerous for him to ask anyone to do them for him, so he learned mountain climbing and was the last climber up the Totem Pole in Monument Valley, before climbing the Eiger? That scene with the 1000 foot drop below and he has to cut his rope? Yup. Clint did that stunt. He writes his own music (he’s an accomplished jazz pianist), performs it and directs most of his movies. He ran for mayor of Carmel, then left after one term. A modest, competent man and a role model for all. He should play heavy metal to be perfect, but he was also born in 1930 (meaning he was 43 when he climbed that mountain), so we can excuse the jazz bit. At least it’s not rap, country or disco.
Even without that manly vote, the Model 29 was designer Elmer Keith’s triumph: A hand cannon that packs as much wallop as many mid-range rifles. It can be used to hunt fairly large game, and it will put a thug down with extreme pain. Mercifully, the pain will fade concurrently with blood loss from the gaping hole it leaves.
It’s a comfortable revolver, and if .44 Magnum is too much, you can load it with .44 Special instead. It is stronger than it needs to be, quite accurate, and instantly recognizeable. Carrying it in a well-made leather holster says that you are, in fact, a man and you take no crap.
#4: AR15
Lots of people will dispute my choice of this rifle. Those people are whiners and pussies. Let’s look at the facts: The Air Police grabbed it under direction from General Curtis leMay. Upon seeing it in Vietnam, the Green Berets, SEALs, and SAS jumped on it, to be followed by the Singaporean Special Forces and the Israelis. It soon became standard. Certainly, there were problems early on, in part because the limpwristed twits in Army Logistics made changes to the weapon and ammo without consulting with the designer, Eugene Stoner. The USMC (the manliest men of the manliest military on the planet, and true Vikings—shipboard warriors who strike fear into their enemies just by existing) were called in to remedy some of those flaws with the M16A2. Some milspec guns have reached almost 30,000 rounds without maintenance.
It works well in the desert, as long as it’s run dry (to blow sand out) or well-lubed. Choose your method, and don’t pussyfoot around. All myths aside, the 5.56 mm round has killed a LOT of Asian losers who thought they could screw with Americans and come out ahead. If anyone doubts it, I have a standing offer to meet them at 500 yards and we’ll swap fire. I get to shoot first. At 500 yards, a 5.56mm still packs more energy than a .45 ACP does at the muzzle. That’s plenty of power. And it’s not a sniper rifle. You should not be engaging at that range with an assault rifle. It’s made to be light, deadly and face-to-face. It’s the modern equivalent of the Viking’s bow and broadsword.
What can you do with this rifle? What CAN’T you do with it? It can be converted to .22, 6mm, 6.8mm, .300 Fireball, 9mm, .50 Beowulf. All you have to do is press two pins and swap upper receivers. You can have anything from a 6″ pistol to a 24″ match rifle in a matter of minutes. It can be equipped with scopes, sights, lights, lasers, grips, slings, counterweights, pouches, compartments, underslung launchers and shotguns, bayonets and probably a kitchen sink. The USMC is impressed enough to have designed an M16A4 and plans to carry it for some time. At 45 years and counting, it holds the record for rifle service life in the US military, was and still is the rifle of choice of several elite units. Third world peasants carry AK47s. Elite experts carry AR15s. It does require occasional maintenance and you must read the manual. Real men DO read manuals, regarding instruments of death.
I’ve attached the above picture, to show the phallic excess one can achieve for a laugh, and to prove that my 9 year old daughter is more of a man and warrior than you. But you can get there if you work at it, and start by buying a good gun and learning how to use it. AR15s start at $550 and go up. Generally, the manlier the more expensive, but over $2000 indicates you are just showing off.
#3: Remington 870
Geek with a .45 says, “The pump action shotgun is sort of a Swiss Army gun.” He’s correct. You can hunt birds, squirrels, deer, criminals or terrorists.
The Remington 870 has been around for decades. It is easy to maintain, easy to find parts for, almost flawlessly reliable, can be outfitted with a broad variety of accessories that enhance its inherent and undisguisable lethality. I recommend a 20″ barrel with an extended 7 round magazine, plus one in the chamber, alternating buckshot and slugs. Or you can go with all buckshot. This affords the opportunity to fire 8 rounds with 9 pellets each of 000 buck, measuring approximately 9mm, in about two and a half seconds with practice. That’s twice the output of an Uzi with better hit probability and more power. In other words, as guns go, it is very well hung.
For hunting, I’d recommend a 24″ barrel with changeable choke tubes. You can get longer, but don’t really need it.
The only real disadvantage to a shotgun is range. 100 yards is about the limit, and less with shot. This is offset by the advantages of a reassuring “kaCLACK” as you cycle it (reassuring to you. Gut wrenching to your target), massive firepower that can leave a man standing dead, looking down at a hole in his torso big enough to toss a dog through, versatility of ammo, simplicity and low cost. You can often get one police surplus for under $150, used, and new for under $300.
Every house needs at least one pistol, rifle and shotgun. THIS is the shotgun if you can afford it. By all means buy a more modern Benelli as well, but the 870 is still the American standard. When the revolting scum start rioting like chimps and burning cars in the streets of America, it will quickly come to a stop because of Viking-sired rednecks with Remington 870 pump action shotguns.
#2: Colt Model 1911A1 .45 ACP
John Moses Browning is the patron saint of shooters and weapon designers. This was a man so manly that his sole purpose in life was to create weapons to kill tasty animals and the enemies of our nation in job lots. These weapons were so successful that both sides used the Hi Power in WWII, and the US Army is fixing its unmanly error of the 9mm by calling for bids on a new .45, while the Marine Recon units and certain other Special Operations units are STILL using the Model 1911A1 with a few improvements, 96 years after it was first fielded.
There are many versions of the 1911. The patent is expired, and dozens of companies produce a version. What can you expect? Real warriors know a good gun, and this gun is the most popular for that reason. This is a pistol so manly that during WWII, it was even made by Singer Sewing Machine, and collectors prize that version for its rarity. The 1911 is THE pistol people think of when the word is invoked. In fact, when I am World Dictator, the only pistols that will be allowed to be produced will be the 1911 and the GLOCK.
The 1911 is available in long slide, standard, short, bobbed, officer’s models (slightly more compact), with dozens of accessories and custom shapes, in chrome, nickel, stainless, blued steel, Damascus, aluminum, titanium and plastics. All are good. The one caution is that some effete whimps have persuaded makers to produce some NON .45 versions, in .38 Super, 9mm and other inferior chamberings. A real man may carry a more powerful 10mm version, but he better have a .45 ACP slide and barrel at home as backup.
#1: Barrett M82 .50 caliber rifle
Ronnie Barrett is a true modern Viking. He hunts big game. He plays with guns. One day in the late 70s, he thought to himself, “Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a RIFLE that fired the same .50 BMG cartridge as Saint John Browning’s Heavy Machine Gun?” So he built it. That’s manly.
When the metrosexual Kalifornia wusses were wetting their pants over “assault rifles,” he got dragged into the argument. You see, Ronnie sells many weapons to police departments, for use in stopping bad guys, so they claim. By “bad” guy they sometimes mean tattooed gangbanger. They also sometimes mean balding, pony-tailed, pot-smoking hippie, though. After all, this IS Cretinfornia.
But that wasn’t enough for Commiefornia. They had a ban on “assault weapons” (An “assault weapon” is a semantically null political term that means “It can be used to hurt people.” As the REAL commies in Russia, who were men descended from Vikings (at least the ones in charge) would note, “Of course hurts people. Is weapon.” You may as well refer to your “house home.” The wussy definition of “Assault weapon” bears no resemblance to the US military’s definition. It comes down to, “It’s black and makes us poopoo in our panties!”
So, even with a ban on “assault weapons” that included most self-loading rifles, including Barrett’s M82 Light Fifty, the People’s Republic of Kalifornija wanted more. They dragged one of his rifles from the LA SWAT armory and used it (Illegal for civilians to own, mind you), as a horrible example of weapons that Must Be Banned Lest They Pollute Our Precious, Bodily Fluids.
They got their ban, because their voters are the type of trilling limpwrists one sees portrayed in movies as stereotypes…only in Californica they’re not stereotypes, they’re typical. It must suck to be a real man on the Left Coast.
Now, Ronnie is not a metrosexual wuss. Ronnie is, in fact, a real testosterone-laden Viking MAN. He warned them then, then he told them, he would oppose them in their pursuit. And Ronnie does not make idle threats. He is a man of his word.
A few weeks later, LA SWAT sent one of these rifles that they use for shooting fleeing mopeds back to Barrett for maintenance…and Ronnie sent it right back to them, untouched, contract cancelled, with polite instructions to stick it somewhere dark and smelly and ride it straight to hell. Not only that, he publicly and proudly announces in all his advertising that he WILL NOT sell to or deal with ANY government entity in communist third world Kali.
And THAT, ladies and gentleman, is a MAN. While not everyone can afford or make use of his wonderful toys, it’s certainly an honor and privilege to promote a real modern Viking who understands the application of bowel-emptying terror, and how to tell friend from foe.
And there’s more! After securing military contracts for anti-materiel sniping (Generators, vehicles, radars, etc), and facing the wrath of Sarah Brady and her Gun-Grabbing Sideshow (which wrath he snickered at, it having all the intimidation of an angry kitten and Ronnie, as we noted, being a Viking), he gave the ultimate middle finger gesture and redesigned the weapon into 25 mm, or TWICE as big. This is a man so cool even his sperm smoke unfiltered Camels. And that makes this gun the manliest gun on Earth.
Michael Z. Williamson
Crazy Einar, AKA Michael Z. Williamson, is one of the premier writers of testosterone-laden war fiction today. His latest book, “Rogue,” will escape in September 2011, leaving a trail of massacred industry executives in its wake. He does not need to hear from you on why you think he’s wrong or how crass and savage he is. He’s well aware of how right he is, and enjoys atavistic savagery.
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Well, lets just go point by point.
1o. I have two smles. So me and a friend could plink at the same time. Never been modified in any way. Handload for them and they’re cheap to shoot.
9. Don’t have one. I had two smles and two swiss mausers all ready in my war-surplus bolt action pile and didn’t feel like I needed any more. Again, handloads for the cheap.
8. GLOCK. i LOVE MY GLOCKS. I also get mighty tired of everybody running their mouth about the 9mm. You know what? When I bought mine – that was it. 9mm or nothing. And it’s thanks to me and all the others who did buy them that they because commercially successful enough to start coming out in new model and new calibres. So the rest of you – eat it. I’ll make do with my pair. A number of my friends shot mine and went out and bought one. My fav, actually is my buddy’s 10mm.but I have a hard time budgeting for a third copy of the same gun. The Gen4 is the best IMHO.
7. Nope. See above. 4 mil-spec used bolts are enough for me.
6. NO. I have a Fn-FAL, and I figure it will do what an AK does and handle additional chores as well.
5. NO. I have 657- 6 incher. and Redhawk 5.5 incher. And a Super Blackhawk 7 incher. And a 624 3 incher. and Taurus 5 shot K-framed equivalent 4 incher. And a 16inch Winchester Trapper. So I have 5 .44′s three magnum and two special. That’s enough. And the 657 can be handloaded up into mid 44 range, if you want.
4. NO. I have an FN-FAL and didn’t feel a need for an AR also. Price was an issue.
3. Mossberg. The Mariner 590. ( rounds and a finish that lets me leave it in the trunk for seasons at a time. I still think I made the right choice.
2. Colt 19911. A Combat Commander in Electroless Nickle, Series 70, was my first gun of my very own.A Barstow barrel and replacement sights are all the mods it has had. And I have shot it a lot.I was a faithful sun of the Church of JMB and really worked at it.Sad but true, I am faster draw and hit at the beep with two of my S&W wheel guns.
A M10 and the 624.Just something about them gives me a slight but noticeable speed edge. And I am just as fast with my glocks. So alas, I am a heretic, no longer a true believer. But I like and value my CC and will never part with it.
1. When I win the lotto. Otherwise, for get it. Nice, but out of my league.
WB
I’l throw in two more, cause it seems to me you neglected a category. To get really good you have to shoot regularly, and that means a twenty-two. I took a High Standard Victor out every weekend for a couple of year, and feed it a brick every time.
Second on the list is a Ruger Super Single Six. It got almost he same treatment. Both came through fine, no wear that I can see and never stopped going :bang:.
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I came over and was all prepared to quibble over this list.
Then I read it, and found that there’s really almost nothing I can argue with.
The one small issue I have is that I wouldn’t call Elmer Keith the “designer” of the Model 29. While Keith was an influential early advocate of what eventually became the .44 magnum, and did a lot of experimentation with heavily loaded .44 Special cartridges that led up to the magnum, the gun itself was actually designed by engineers at Smith and Wesson. But that’s a slight quibble; a trifle, really.
1) If you hadn’t included a S&W revolver in a magnum caliber, I would’ve had to feed you one.
2) Glocks ARE cheap. $520 retail, close enough. For a pro-quality pistol, that’s as cheap as they get. Go price a Sig, you pansy.
3) 1911s aren’t manly any more. They’re high-end accessorizable custom Barbie guns for rich fags. True fact: Everybody I’ve ever seen shoot a 1911 winced when he sat down. No exceptions.
You must hang out with a load of flacdid dicked fags if they wince from firing a 1911. Quit limp wristing it like a bunch of pussy French queers and fire it like a man.
‘Murica
“Everybody I’ve ever seen shoot a 1911 winced when he sat down. No exceptions.” Winced needs explaining here. I shoot my Charles Daly (read cheapo) 1911 every chance I get. I’ll go through a hundred round box in a session, when I forget about having to buy food and gas. Mine has no modifications other than ambidextrous thumb safeties.
The point? I don’t wince.
“…high-end accessorizable custom Barbie guns for rich fags”
I see nothing wrong with a true warrior making modifications to his weapon to maximize his potential hits on target. Though I would agree with Abu to the extent that far too many folks put on various bits of frippery without actually thinking about what problem they’re trying to solve; however, I don’t see that as a problem unique to the 1911. (Go to a gun show sometime and look at all the folks selling Glock add-ons.)
“…effete whimps have persuaded makers to produce some NON .45 versions, in .38 Super, 9mm and other inferior chamberings”
Yeah, go call Earl Swagger an effete wimp. Heck, go call Stephen Hunter his own self an effete wimp and see how far that gets you.
I can make a good case AGAINST the AK47. The whole point was that it was a gun for non-warriors, to turn them into psuedo-warriors. It was a gun for peasant idiots who didn’t know squat about either weapons maintenance or accuracy.
It works VERY well as a gun for non-warriors, but on that same basis it has no business being anywhere near this list.
The gun that’s missing is the Colt Single Action Army and it’s various cousins over the years, esp. the big magnum Ruger SAs. Single action wheelguns take real time and effort to master and the reward is obvious: they’re still the fastest gun out of the holster on the first shot.
Yea, because competitive speed shooters today shoot Colt SAA revolvers…wrong.
Phased out and old technology. Good for the time but passed by the wayside when semi-automatic pistols were invented way back in oh…1880?
Long post (Egghead rambling on Mosins). I have several old (cheap) military pistols–Tokarevs, Makarovs, CZs, etc. I love the simplicity, reliability, and ruggedness of these gems, all of which are over 50 years old. They speak history. And the price is right–dirt cheap.
I’m really a handgun guy, not a long-gun type. So it was odd for me to keep looking at those LONG, OLD Mosin Nagants at a gun show. They just had a look that appealed. Then I picked one up and sighted down that long barrel. I could almost see my German cousins rushing me. Had to have it.
Of course having the $1.98 rifle forced the history digging. I discovered much of what you relate in the article, but would add a little. When you get an M91/30 made before 1945, you’re virtually guaranteed that you’re holding a weapon that was issued to the fighting forces and quite likely a gun that was fired in action. It’s history on a scale…well, it’s off the scale. Unless you have the heart of an IRS accountant, you cannot fail to get a pathotic connection to the Russians trapped in Leningrad. It brings all of those human strengths to your senses–courage, perseverance, loyalty, sheer endurance. Yes, they were commie trash, but the situation still elicits respect.
As you mentioned, it has a kick that is daunting. My 240 lb friend fired 20 rounds through his and had a bruise the size of Godzilla from the recoil. Yet Soviet women handled these brutes and scored hundreds of confirmed kills of Germans as world-class snipers. Do a Google of “Soviet Women snipers”–you’ll see dimpled cuties handling these fire-breathing monsters with a smile. Courage by the basketsful.
We still have some rough men ready to do violence on our behalf, that we may sleep soundly in our homes. But those days seem to be fading.
I’ll hold on to my Mosins. And BTW–5,000 rounds of ammo is less than a month’s worth of beer.
Your fat friend needs to shoulder the gun like a man and take a strong stance behind it before firing it. Grab the bull by the horns and treat it like a man, hold on tight and fake it bark fire, you won’t hurt it. Morbidly obese or not.
The Mosin? No, the K98 is much more manly, and the MP-44 is 10x more manly than the Mosin.
Which gun was on the winning side after WWII?
End of story.
“Which gun was on the winning side after WWII?
End of story.”
The Nagant M1895 revolver? Does that make it manly, because it was on the winning side?
Was the South not manly during the civil war, because they lost? Is the Hunley (submarine) thus unmanly?
K98? MP44? Ze Germans lost. Twice.
I think you left out two of the most important and manly guns in history.
1 The M1 Garand rifle, which you even used in the header photo. The first auto loading battle rifle to be general issue has got to be on any list of the the most manly firearms. You’ve all heard Pattons quote I’m sure “the Garand rifle is the greatest battle implement ever made” How can one ask for higher praise than that?
Second the Marlin 30-30 lever action. If you like you could even consider this a class of rifles. More meat has been put on more tables by more REAL MEN with a simple $200 Marlin than all of your fancy custom or semi-custom bolt guns and just to make it more manly most of these rifles are taken afield without scope and with the remainder of a box of ammo from last years hunt. If the definition of manliness is doing great things with simple tools then the Marlin 30-30, or any modern lever gun, should be at the top of the list.
Patton got his ass kicked a lot too. Take his word for it when he is getting his ass kicked? No.
Service life for the M1 Garand is too short..and whats the point of owning a rifle that wasn’t first used in combat, but used to break up riots outside an army base in North Carolina…weak.
I’d throw a vote in for the Marlin lever-actions. I personally like my 35 Rem, suitable for knocking down bears, gators, and small cars, but the 30-30 is probably the better overall hunting round. The pistol caliber version is also fun, available in manly rounds suchs as .44Mag and and .357Mag. For the truly manly, there’s also the Mare’s Leg versions, foregoing such wimpy contrivances such as functional buttstocks.
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